That's right folks, day 16 of this horrifically stupid and torturous bet. Things are a bit...tense at the Johnson home. Shane was snipping to me last night because we couldn't have any of our niece's birthday cake...I was snipping at him that he shouldn't be complaining because he's already lost 11lbs (I hate men and their metabolisms). We are in serious need of a sugar fix, or things might get pretty nasty.
Another thing to add to our happy home, is the fact that we have been woken-up by Hank 3 of the past 4 nights. (and anyone who knows me, knows how I love my sleep) Last night we tried to let him cry it out, but the boy is so stinking stubborn! So I walk into his room, stand in front of his crib with my arms folded, and start lecturing him (somewhat loudly) on his selfish behavior, and how his father needs his sleep so he can go to work, and how disappointed I was in his lack of consideration for the rest of us, yadda yadda yadda. By this time in my speech, Hank is literally trying to throw himself over railing of the crib to his certain death, and is hysterically bawling his eyes out.
Right when I was about to completely lose my mind and torch the whole house around us, Shane walks into the room, takes Hank in his arms and very sweetly and patiently tells me to go back to bed, and that he will take care of everything. Of course, I start crying because I am a terrible mother and have now given Hank one more reason to hate me when he turns 13.
So I go to bed pretty upset, when Shane walks in the room and gets into bed with our boy. Hank hears me sniffling and says, "mama?" and climbs over to me and into my arms.
Children make you bi-polar. One minute you are cursing the heavens for their rotten existence, the next you are crying about how much you love them and don't deserve them.
I need some chocolate. This is quickly becoming a safety issue.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Battle of the Bulge: D-day +15
Posted by The Johnson's at 11:48 AM
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4 comments:
Are artificial sweeteners off the table? Desperate times call for sweet chemicals. Diet pops, popcicles, or nuts sweetened with sugar cane!!! You can do it girl, keep your eye on the great binge when Shane looses!
If you want the chocolate, just take the chocolate (Three Amigos). I plan on being the devil, eating a snickers ice cream bar, on Megan's shoulder until she loses....
Finally, the description of how being a mother makes a girl feel that I can identify with....Bi-Polar! Seriously, we are up in the night "lecturing" together! Thank heaven for sweet husbands! Could you slip something into his eggs in the morning...call it a mushroom and make him eat a bit of chocolate? Then it'd be over and all would be well again???
If you can eat artificial sweetners- sugar free chocolate cook & serve pudding is not bad....instant is. Oh,...and try adding nuts, bananas, or freezing it.
Motherhood is bi-polar! You need to write a book. Great title.
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