Thursday, December 6, 2007

Paging Doctor Clooney!

So we made it eleven months and 5 days before our first ER trip with Henry, and I have to say my experience was a bit of a disappointment...

Tuesday morning, I walk to the living room to see my son trying to chew up one of those glass tree ornaments. I get the blood in his mouth and shirt cleaned up, and am trying to see into his mouth to see if there are any cuts. The bleeding stops, so I put him in his high chair to see if he will eat. He starts crying and bleeding again, and I start to panic a bit. I'm no doctor, but I know that ingesting glass probably isn't the breakfast of champions. I run to get my clothes on and dash out the door to the Kania Clinic.

The twelve year old minimum wage kid working at the counter (apparently NASA wasn't hiring this week) informs me that they cant see Hank and I have to go to the ER.

It took us about an hour just to get triaged, and the nurse tells me that there aren't cuts in his mouth, and since he isn't choking or coughing that he likely didn't swallow anything, but that the doc would be there shortly to check Hank out.

If I thought church was fun with this guy, try chasing him around the ER! He did make some friends, first with this old gal in a wheel chair, who was kind enough to unlock her wheels so Hank could push her around a bit. Then with another lady whose gall bladder was about to burst who offered to share her ice tea with him, then the poor green teenager who was trying to sleep that Hank wanted to play peek-a-boo with. Hank just ran from patient to patient, absolutely convinced that the only prescription they needed was some Vitamin-H.

The disappointing part was that here I am, sitting by myself, no ring on my finger (it got forgotten in the rush out the door) and not one hot doctor tried to hit on me! I've seen the show, and I know that every distraught mom gets picked up by either Euro doc, commitment-phobia doc, cute-rookie doc, etc. But not me. I was waiting for a helicopter to crash through the windows, or some rare and life-threatening disease to shut the place down. Heck, I was about to OD on Dayquil just to liven the place up.

But in the end, after a few hours when it was obvious that Hank was not slowly choking to death or bleeding internally, we decided to go home and have a nap.

NBC is full of crap.

Monday, December 3, 2007


Thank you Seth, for assuming that there are seven interesting facts about me. Here we go-

1. I love to bake. I love it so much I would do it every day. Sometimes when I bake, I pretend I am hosting my own baking show on the food network. It would be in the same vein as Giada (or as Shane calls it, Cooking with Cleavage), not Rachel Ray (she bugs me, I don't know why.)

2. If I could have any super-power it would be time travel. There are so many places and events that I wish I could witness. I wouldn't want the power to be able to change events, just to watch them unfold.

3. I have moved a ba-jillion times in my life. My goal is to live in one house for 10 years.

4. I have a secret wish to someday be asked to appear on "Inside the Actor's Studio". I have no clue how to get asked, or what movies I would ever be asked to star in, but I think I would be an engaging and delightful interview. I would be "scrumtrulescent". Here are the answers to my questions, if anyone is interested:

-favorite sound: Hank's giggling, clock-tower chimes, and an orchestra warming up
-least fav sound: loud gum chewing
-favorite word: home
-least fav word: entitlement and the f word. (but the phrase "effing" always makes me guiltily chuckle)
-what turns me on: great power under control, and big broad shoulders
-what turns me off: mean people

5. My hair is very curly, and I seriously had the worst hair ever in middle school. Ever, ever. Fro-city. I was known as "the girl with the hair"...and not in a good way.

6. I think my humor is the best thing about me, and the worst thing about me.

7. I never thought Seinfield was funny. It is seriously torturous for me to watch that show. But I would leave my husband for Conan O'Brian or Steven Colbert.

I now tag Bethany, Karine, Stephanie and Nicole!